He Who Died Out of Love
by veldygee
Summary: Demigods are not supposed to have a long life. But that knowledge still didn't prepare Percy when Nico died. Onesided Percico.


So a fanfic I wrote after I read House of Hades. I just needed the angst. hahaha. This is crossposted in AO3 under the same title :)

* * *

If there is one things that Percy learnt after he realised that he is a demigod is that life is not easy for his kind. It is a well-known fact that many young demigods die every day being attacked by monsters and it is rare for a demigod to live through until adulthood. Ever since the ancient times, it is very uncommon for a demigod to get a happy ending.

Percy doesn't dwell on the statistics nor facts though. With the amount of monsters and quests and near-death experiences he has encountered, he realises how easy it actually is to die but for Percy giving up is never an option so no matter how bleak the situation might be, he always tries to survive for another day.

Death is an everyday thing in Percy's life as a demigod and so he has prepared himself with the knowledge that he or his friends might die one day and so he lives his life to the fullest every day. He tries to appreciate every single day in his short 17 years of life. Because that day might be his last.

He has always known that death is always near if you are a demigod. He knows that it is just how it is.

Still it doesn't prepare him well enough when the child of Hades dies in front of him.

Never let your guard down. That is the number one rule to be remembered if someone wants to survive as a demigod. Percy has been following the rule so good for so many years. He still doesn't know why he decides to let his guard down for a little bit. It costs him a too high price.

"Percy, look out-!" he heard the shout of Jason and he turned but he realised that his injured ankle delay his motion and he cannot rise riptide right on time to counter the attack. He heard the scream of Annabeth but before anything happened, a blur of shadow appeared before him, receiving the attack that was meant for him. The monster in front of him was then dissolved in sands as Jason killed it and he saw from the corner of his eyes, Annabeth sprinting towards him. His eyes were focused only on the falling figure in front of him.

Nico.

Percy dropped to his knees and quickly rolled Nico over and Percy could only stare in disbelief when he saw red warm blood pouring out of his torn neck. Nico's eyes were blown wide and his mouth gaped open as he struggled to breathe. He wrapped his hands around Nico's neck, trying to slow down the rapid bleeding.

"Stay with me! Nico! Someone get me ambrosia!" Percy shouted to no one in particular. The blood didn't slow down and Percy kept shouting for help. He saw how Nico's body started to go limp. His eyes were fixed on Percy's. The dying demigod opened his mouth as if trying to say something but nothing came out. The blood still didn't stop. Percy tried to use his power to slow down the bleeding but it just didn't work.

Nico's arm was slowly raised toward Percy and Percy noticed dimly behind his panicked mind how much effort it must took. Nico put his hand on Percy's face and his mouth was opened once more as if to say something but nothing came out. Then he went limp and stopped breathing. Percy need a moment to register the death because how could he died when his blood was still gushing out? So warm on his hand?

Percy remembers tears, agony and sorrow. But what he remembers the most is the rage that he felt as he killed as many monsters he could get his hand on.

* * *

Gaia was winning and then unexpectedly, the Mother Earth offered one act of what she calledkindness, asking for the demigods to surrender within the night and so she would spare their lives. The outcome was not looking good but none of them were planning to. It was either beating Gaia's forces with the help of the gods or die trying. The gods were still fighting their battles againts each of their own archenemies and the ultimatum from Gaia gave them time to rest and bury the deads.

The funeral or Nico happened that night. They were tired but they all knew that they should do it now when they still had the chance. Percy felt so weak, almost like he was back in Tartarus all over again. Percy went to one of the still standing cabin in Argo II and carried out Nico's body, which was kept inside. The boy looked like he was sleeping and it was probably what Percy would think if not of the obvious wound around his neck with clotted blood all around it. Hazel sobbed so hardly and buried her face on Frank's chest. The atmosphere was so gloom. Annabeth approached him and looked at Nico sadly and then she walked beside Percy to where he would lay Nico's body down to be cremated.

After Percy put Nico's body down, Annabeth wrapped her arm around him and he slung his own arm around her. Leo stepped forward and set the woods on fire. The fire burned hotly and soon the body was engulfed in flame. Annabeth murmured something to him, but he didn't quite get it. She kissed his cheek and he was left standing alone.

Percy remembered when he first met Nico a few years ago. A young cheerful boy with a love for card games. Always paler than others but with bright deep brown eyes and ebony hair. Percy, despite being annoyed at the time with all the constant questions from Nico, did have a thought that maybe that was what it felt like if he ever had a younger brother. But then Bianca's death happened and Nico was unlike the boy he first met. Gone the bright smile and the obsession toward games. Because of Percy's failure, he had changed an innocent boy's life forever.

Percy almost laughed when he realised with a bitter thought how he was determined to protect Nico, to atone the mistakes that he had done, which had caused the child of Hades many sufferings. In Tartarus, Percy realised how he didn't pay much attention and he was going to atone that. He was going to. But instead of protecting him, Percy was the one being protected. He failed Nico once again, failed the promise he made with Bianca to protect her baby brother.

He kept his eyes on the burning flames when Jason stepped beside him. He didn't say the word and bitterness and regrets that went on and on inside Percy's head didn't make him bother to start a conversation.

"He is probably going to haunt me afterwards, but he loves you, you know..." started Jason in voice barely heard. Percy looked at the son of Zeus and frowned.

"Pardon?"

"He loves you," repeated Jason and before Percy could respond with anything, Jason continued with a bitter smile, "I found out when we encountered Cupid. The god forced him to admit it and he did. It was the bravest thing I have witnessed. I can only imagine how hard it must be for him." Percy didn't know what to say.

"Why are you telling me this?" asked Percy low because he had nothing else to say, his minds were busy replaying the words 'he loves you' over and over again.

"Because I think he deserves this. For you to know," answered Jason. "He knew that you love Annabeth, so he didn't say a thing. I know that too. But no love should go unspoken right?" Percy allmost laughed.

"Are you sure you are a son of Zeus, Jason? You speak like a child of Aphrodite instead," commented Percy with no humour. Jason offered him a small smile and replied, "I am dating one so it must have influenced me."

Both of them went silent again. Percy looked back at the flame as he proccesed everything.

"Thank you for telling me," said Percy after a while. "Nico... he-" and then everything that happened in between suddenly made sense. How Nico avoided him, seemed to hate him. This time Percy did laugh with taste of bitterness. No wonder Annabeth called him Seaweed Brain. As he replayed things that happened between him and Nico, it was actually quite obvious. Percy could not finish his sentence.

Jason stood beside him for a while, seeming to understand. Percy didn't know how long he was standing there but he kept staring at the flame and the body laying inside, until it was no more.

* * *

There was Annabeth, the radiant child of Athena whom Percy loves more than anything. He had known her for a very long time. They had done many quests together. They had fought monsters side by side. They got each other's back. They had survived Tartarus together. Percy wanted to spend the rest of his life together with her and could not imagine his future life without her. He knew that Annabeth thought the same thing.

There was Calypso, the daughter of the Titan Atlas whom Percy met a few years ago. He hadn't thought about her for a long time but he regretted it bitterly when he realised that the gods hadn't fulfilled their promise to release her from her prison island. He should have known to check up on her. He experienced how badly he had hurt her while in Tartarus. She was destined to love every hero that came to her island. She loved Percy once upon a time. She had asked him to stay, but he didn't and she was his biggest what-if.

And then there was Nico who Jason said loved him. The boy he thought of as brother, a friend. Who he had failed considerably. He trusted Percy to protect his sister, but he failed. He trusted Percy to be his friend, but Percy never did the same effort. Nico had saved his and Annabeth's life in Tartarus but what had he really done to him? Nico loved him, Jason said. Nico sacrificed his life so Percy could live. Percy just wanted to laugh and drown himself in shame because how could the younger boy loved him when Percy had treated him horribbly all these years?

Percy was ashamed of the love that Nico had given to him. He didn't deserve it.

When the morning came, the war began once again. No surrendering. It was either win or lose. Percy still felt tired, like the whole sky was once again upon him. But he was standing once again with an additional reason why he needed to win. He was going to make sure that Nico's life was going in vain. He wanted to be at least someone who actually deserved the love.

He would survive. He would live.

And then maybe he could visit Nico in the Underworld afterwards.


End file.
